Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So vagazzling was a success
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
