Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You need Xanax blowdarts
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
