its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
