Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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