so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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