sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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