my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
