Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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