I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
