dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
