a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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