just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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