what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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