How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
