If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
