I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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