the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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