Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
