let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
