Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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