You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
