I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
