I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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