This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
