my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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