I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize