He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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