Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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