I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize