So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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