why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
