So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
