Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
