I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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