Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
