If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize