I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
