I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
