Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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