we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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