my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I look better un-naked...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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