I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
