I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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