In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
