Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Having a random hookup so left but love u
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
