is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
