So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
