i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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