I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
