And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
