What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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