i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
