I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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