Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
