Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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