Even the bartender felt bad for me
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just forgot I was standing up.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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