...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I checked into jail on foursquare
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
