i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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