she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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