i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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