I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
