And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
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